Enjoy Your Social Dancing!

We all remember THAT dance…..the one dance that was so amazing, so perfect, it just made our night, or our weekend, or even our dance career.  It’s amazing how one dance can stay with you for a long time.  That’s why each social dance is like a snowflake…..no dance will ever be exactly the same.  Even if you are dancing with the same person, at the same event, to the same song, wearing the same clothes, in the same mood (you get the point)……it will still be different.  This is what makes dancing so amazing!  Even when you are performing a routine, no two times will be the same.  There is only that one moment, so don’t miss it.

We often get caught up in what we are doing wrong (or right), who’s looking at us, who we are dancing with, and so many other things that don’t allow us to just be in that moment.  If we could just relax and focus on our partner and connection we would have more of those magical moments.  Since many of us don’t have a lot of time or a partner to practice with, we often look at our social time as practice time.  It can be, but don’t forget that this should also be a time to enjoy yourself and your partner.  Always leave time in the night to relax and just dance.  This can be as useful and we can learn just as much from that kind of practice as we do from the more thoughtful kind.  

There is time for practice and time for fun.  Just like in life, we need to remember that there should be balance! 

Commitment and Hardwork

No matter what it is, if we want to be good at something, it takes commitment and hard work.  If I want to be good at my job, I must make the commitment and then follow through by doing the work.  If I want to have a relationship with someone, I have to commit to them and put the work (yes, it’s work) in to make it happen. If I want to be a really good dancer, then I have to commit to that goal and put in the work.  This is true for anything……ANYTHING!!

When working to become a dancer, does talent help?  Yes, it can help, but all the talent in the world doesn’t take the place of hard work.  If you have talent, it may be easier for you to improve faster, but you still need to put in the work or the talent will never reach its full potential.  We have to commit a lot to be a good dancer – time, money, energy, etc.  I was lucky enough to start dancing when I was young, and yes, it’s a bit easier to learn when we are younger.  I am still learning though.  I still have to put all of the work in that anyone else does to continue to grow as a dancer.  A lot of you started to learn how to dance when you were older – this can present some challenges, but if you put in the work, you can keep improving.  I have seen all types of dancers of all ages over the years who have reached their goals.  I have also seen extremely talented dancers who have wasted that talent.  They thought they could do the minimum and still become great, but they needed to do much more.

As dancers, we need help to improve and learn.  That’s why we go to our instructors and coaches.  When we commit to working with a coach or instructor, we are saying that we will listen to what they say, we will do what they want us to do, and we will work hard to accomplish the goals that they help us set.  We need to be as consistent with our attendance as possible, be as attentive as possible, and we need to be working as hard as we can.  It is not just enough to be there and paying attention, but practice is also important.  The body needs repetition to change or create a habit. 

It doesn’t matter how talented you are or how long you have been dancing, we all need to know what we want and work hard to get there.  Use your instructors and coaches as the wonderful resources that they are, and make sure that you put all your effort into it!  Everyone will want to get to a different level of expertise.  There is nothing wrong with just wanting to be a good social dancer.  It’s actually quite a difficult thing to achieve.  Either way, when working toward your goal you must commit to want you want and follow it up with hard work!!!  Enjoy the process and keep it up!!!

Your Ego..........

I know that it has been a while since I posted anything…..unfortunately, the holidays and then life took over!!  Sometimes we let things get in the way of doing the things that we love.  Sometimes we can get in our own way!

There are many ways that we get in our own way.  There’s disorganization……there’s procrastination………there’s denial………..and there’s always ego!

This is the one that I want to talk about.  In the dance community there is plenty of ego, both good and bad!  Yes, there is such a thing as good ego – it’s called confidence.  Being confident does not get in your way; it is actually helpful; it can help you to perform at your best.  To win and to be the best, you have to know that you are good at what you do.  You have to know that you can get on the floor and kick some ass.

There is a fine line between good and bad in anything, but it seems to become even finer when it comes to ego.  So when does good ego become bad?  When confidence turns into arrogance!  Knowing you are good at dancing is one thing, telling everyone is another.  When you start broadcasting how good you are, and start talking about how bad the other people are, you have a problem.  People do not need to be told (by you) what a good dancer you are – all you have to do is show them.  If you want people to think that you are a great dancer, then get on the floor and show them.

We also cannot let our ego get in the way of our learning.  Just because I am a “professional” doesn’t mean I know everything, and it doesn’t mean that I should stop working and growing in my dancing.  I should still be making an effort to learn new things – there is always something to learn no matter what level you are!  The other thing to remember is that we all have weaknesses.  If you have good ego (confidence), you will accept your weaknesses, and will work with them and keep trying to turn them into a strength.  If you have bad ego (arrogance), you will deny them and keep claiming that you are the best! 

We all have a goal level that we want to reach.  For some it’s to just make it to Intermediate, for others they may want to be a professional.  It’s important to remember that it takes a lot of time and hard work to get where you want to go wherever it may be.  It’s important not to whine about where you think you DESERVE to be (arrogance), but to enjoy the journey to where you want to be.  Listen to those people that you trust and respect, and they will help you get there.  Remember, no one wants to know where you think you belong or what you can do; they just want to see what you can do!

There are many ways we can all get in our own way, but we can keep control of our ego.  Minimize the things in your way, and know you are good as well as show you are good!!

Sorting Through Conflicting Information

Recently, I have had a few people talk to me about not knowing what to do when getting conflicting information from instructors.  It’s always hard to sort through any information given to us; unfortunately, that’s exactly what we need to do.

Most of us do take lessons with more than one instructor; whether it is group classes or privates, we are constantly getting information from different people.  This is a good thing!  Every instructor has strengths and weaknesses.  One instructor cannot be everything to everyone.  Different ways of communicating and different personalities work well together.  The hard part about working with more than one instructor is getting conflicting information.  So how do you decide what is “right” and what is “wrong”??

First, you must find out the theory behind what the instructor is telling you to do.  When I first started partner dancing, I was trying to understand why I was supposed to do something, and when I asked the person training me, they said “that’s just the way you do it.”  That is NOT an explanation!  IF you are not sure – always ask why!  If your instructor cannot explain why or cannot give you an explanation that makes sense, then you can be confident in disregarding that information. 

Next, if you are trying to work through two different ways of doing something, always go with the way that feels more natural, more connected, and more in tune with your partner.  Most of the time a new concept will be hard to execute, but it should make the movement easier and more comfortable. 

The last thing to consider is how it looks.  Which way (especially when it comes to styling) is more aesthetically pleasing to you and fits in with what your style is?   Don’t forget that it is ultimately YOU who has to make the decision as to what you want to do.  Don’t get lost in what is “right” and what is “wrong”; choose what makes sense to you and your body.  We as instructors can only give you help and guidance; we cannot give you all the answers.  You must find your own way on this crazy, fabulous journey!

Advancing Your Dancing

I think that at some point we all get to that plateau…..you know the one where you feel like you’re not getting any better, or the one where you feel like you’ve got nowhere else to go.  You’re stuck in the same level with the same results every time you step on the floor.  Or maybe you feel like you’ve learned it all.  (This is the trap to beware of!!)  You should never feel like there is nowhere else to go.  There is always something you can change, something you can improve, or something you can experiment with.  Just because someone’s reached a high level of skill in one dance, doesn’t mean there is nothing left for them to learn or nothing left for them to improve.

Sometimes it takes going to a different instructor so that you can get a different opinion or hear something in a different way.  Sometimes it means trying out a different type of dance and challenging yourself to do something new, or revisiting a dance style that you used to do to help inspire you.  Sometimes it means not worrying about what level you are at, but just worrying about growing and improving.  Sometimes it’s just the challenge of doing a new routine; everyone is different, so there is no right answer.  In my mind, one of the best ways to improve your dancing is to try something new – whether it’s a new partnership or a totally new style of dancing. 

I know that in the beginning it is sometimes easier to focus on just one dance style, but as you progress, it is important to have other things to draw from.  It may give you a new type of arm styling to add, a new understanding of how to make your weight shifts, it may give you new patterns to try in a different dance, or any number of other things.  I have known many different kinds of dancers in my day, and many of the higher level dancers are reluctant to try something new because they don’t want to look inferior or bad.  I understand completely – no one wants to look bad, but if we never try, we’ll never know what we can do.  If we never do anything new, then we become stagnant.  Our dancing will never evolve.  We should never stop learning…….there is no one who knows everything and can’t learn something.  If we can remember this, then we will never be bored or uninspired!

In my mind, the best dancers are the ones who are able to keep their dancing growing and evolving and are able to excel in more than one dance form.  So keep working, keep growing, and keep dancing!!

Keeping Competition in Perspective

It’s the same scenario at every competition.  There are a lot of amateurs standing in lines waiting to strut their stuff on the dance floor.  There is a group of 5 to 7 pros with clipboards or iPads waiting to give their opinion on what the amateur does.  And at the end of the day or the weekend, someone goes home with the prize and someone is disappointed; disappointed that they didn’t dance their best, that they had a mistake, or that they didn’t place where they should have, or didn’t place at all.  The ams then go back to their pros and ask for an explanation.  All we can do is tell them what we think.  We can’t read the judges minds, and we only know by experience how certain people judge.  We don’t always have the answer. 

There is always judging in any type of dancing that you do – whether it be by the audience, or by reviewers, or by actual judges.  The thing to always remember is that every judgment is subjective.  It’s one person’s opinion.  As much as the judges can look at technique, timing, and (in terms of routines) composition, there will always be the variable judgment of styling and personal taste.  You always have to remember that it’s not just about the winning or the placing.  Competitions should be used to help you reach your goals……”I am going to be able to do x, y, and z before this event.”  “I want to feel like I’m comfortable in a certain level at this event.”  You can use competitions to gauge your progress, but don’t just look at your placements.  You need to compare how you dance at one competition to how you dance at the next.

Does it feel good to win?  Yes.  Do we want to win?  Yes.  Is it ok to be disappointed that you didn’t win or place??  Yes.  The point is not to get wrapped up in it, and not to take it too personally or too seriously.  It is important to use the disappointment to better yourself and your dancing.  Take the opportunity to find out what you can improve upon and make it happen, so there is no question that you are the best one on the floor!  Make sure you listen to those that you trust and admire, and take the advice that you know is right. 

Always remember, that not placing in a competition is not the end of the world.  A good placement can be a sign that you are getting better, it can be a confidence booster, it can be something to be proud of, but never forget, the important thing is to improve and love what you are doing!!  It’s about the dancing, the music, and the fun!!

Social vs. Competitive Hustle Dancing

In partner dancing, there are different aspects to how we can dance.  The two main styles and places we will dance are socially and competitively.  We always have to remember when we are dancing on the social floor there are certain things that we should and shouldn’t do.  On the flip side there are things that you should do on the competitive floor that will make your dancing stand out – things that we are not able to do on the social floor.

Let’s first look at the social floor, since that is where Hustle first started.  On the social floor, there are usually quite a few more people than on the competitive floor.  That means that you need to be more compact in your movements and in the steps that you choose to do.  Traveling will obviously be at a minimum depending on how people are moving and how many people are on the floor.  First, it is the leader’s responsibility to lead the appropriate steps for the space that is available.  It is also the leader’s responsibility to be aware of all of the people and space around the couple, and to be able to maneuver around them.  Also, if someone comes into the open space into which you send your partner, you must be able to stop her from running into them.  It must be remembered that as much as Hustle is an extended dance, it is important for the follower to extend, but the leader can shorten his arm slightly to keep her closer.

Some things NOT to lead on the social floor: samba shadows, traveling steps (i.e., traveling full cross body leads, waltz step, Fred & Gingers, etc.), anything that takes up more space than is available to you.

For followers, it is also important to be aware of who is around you at all times.  It is not just the leader’s job to keep you from running into someone, but also the follower’s job to stop yourself if you know someone is there.  You need to make sure that you only move enough to get a good connection with your partner.  Pay attention to how far the leader is letting you out – don’t out run the connection.  It is also our job to use space-appropriate arm styling.  We all “know” this, but we have to be aware of it on the dance floor.  You can always take the arm higher; up by bringing it past your ear, or put your hand on your hip.  Or you can always do what I do………touch yourself – it keeps the arm close to you and (usually) looks sexy!  

For both partners, one of the most important things on the social floor is eye contact.  You must always be looking at your partner!  Yes, leaders may need to quickly look to check for space when performing moves, but as much as possible this dance is about you and your partner – not who’s watching you. 

On the flip side, a competitive dance, while still being a partnership, should also include the audiences and judges.  There are appropriate times to look at the audience and make eye contact with them to include them in your dance.  There are also obviously more pattern options, and usually more space on the competitive floor, but it is still important to be aware of who is around you.  Floor craft is an important thing that judges look at.  Leaders can lead pretty much any step, and of course you want to have a variety of moves.  There are also more options for followers as there is more room for arm styling as well as expansion.  PLEASE remember that in a competition it is still about following your partner and about the couple.  Do not get so involved with playing to the audience that you forget about your partner.  One of the things I look for is a dynamic couple with good communication and connection. 

So next time you set foot on the dance floor, be aware of where you are and dance accordingly!!  Everyone around you will appreciate it!!